“Yes, that would be interesting,” I had responded. “I’d like to do it.” That’s what I had said a few months ago. Now I’m wondering what on earth was I thinking when I said “yes”!
My Quaker Meeting (Lancaster PA) offers a program called “My Spiritual Journey” a few times each year. It focuses on someone telling the story of her or his spiritual journey. We all appreciate the opportunity to learn more about others in our community, to discover who they have been and are today, to listen as they reflect on their individual journeys.
We all love being the listeners – but I never thought about the challenge of being the presenter! It’s my turn this coming Sunday, and I’ve been busily preparing. I believe all experiences and situations in our lives are potential openings to the “Something More” that we usually call God. Therefore everything in our lives can be part of our spiritual journey! That’s a lot to reflect on.
What have I discovered so far? Looking back through the chapters of my life and remembering what has shaped me, I have found gratitude for both blessed times and hard times. I understand better how they are related, and how I have been stretched spiritually by both. For example, the judgmental God that I learned about as a child was offset by parents whose love was unconditional. Their love helped me seek out a Divine Being whose essence is Love. This long journey of seeking and finding has been both painful and very rewarding.
We don’t often share these personal stories with our friends, even those we worship with. Often we don’t know how to talk about our deep spiritual experiences. We struggle for the words to describe things like “having a calling” or “feeling an opening.” And we don’t want to name our doubts and fears either. It is hard to be vulnerable with each other; I find myself wondering how open I can be with my own community. (Yes, I feel safe with my friends, but can I really tell them how I tried to convert my grandfather when I was a little girl?)
I am reminded of Gerald May’s words in Will and Spirit. The spiritual journey seems lonely. . . .There is a dimension of [pain] in this, but even in our aloneness, we are together for we each have it. At the deepest level of our hearts we are all aching, for each other and for the same eternally loving one who calls us. It would be well, I think, if we could acknowledge this more often to one another.
I am grateful for this time of reflecting on the journey, and for the opportunity to share it with others. I am beginning to realize how important it is to share my story – not because it’s unusual, but because it’s so ordinary. As Gerald May reminds us, we all feel lonely on our spiritual journeys, and we are all “aching” to know we have companions.
I also have discovered that this time of looking back over my spiritual journey has stretched me. As my 93 year old aunt said when she wondered why she was still alive, “I’m still growing. I’m not done yet.” Taking stock of where I have been, I feel invited to stretch more fully into whom God created me to be. What is the growing edge for me now? What is the growing edge on your journey?
May we all share more of our spiritual journey stories with each other. Through such sharing, we will find companions on the path, and we will be renewed and strengthened.
NOTE: Nancy will share her spiritual journey story at Lancaster Quaker meetinghouse Nov.2 at 12:00. You are welcome to attend in person or on Zoom.
Directions to join Zoom: On Zoom website, at the top, click on “meet”, then “join a meeting” and enter: Meeting ID: (821 5725 7152) and Passcode: (Worship). OR use information in Meeting e-news: lmmenews@45543789.mailchimpapp.com