Two weeks ago my daily life turned upside down.
It happened this way. In the midst of a joyful Thanksgiving gathering, my husband began to show stroke symptoms. Our EMT/police officer nephew, together with a family MD, drove us to the local hospital where Larry had a severe stroke while he was being evaluated. Immediately he and I were airlifted to a large medical center where the neurosurgeons were ready to operate. After three surgeries and ten days in hospital, he recovered sufficiently so that I could bring him home! Here at home, he is continuing his amazing recovery.
I don’t have words to express our gratitude for the availability and miracles of medical science, for skilled practitioners and gifted caregivers, for family who noted Larry’s early symptoms, and for the helicopter that lifted us above Pennsylvania’s twisting mountain roads and smoothly set us on the front lawn of the Penn State Hershey Medical Center. I know so well that “it might have been otherwise,” as Jane Kenyon wrote in her poem “Otherwise.”
What has moved me most deeply during this time and repeatedly brought me to tears is the overwhelming sense of being wrapped in love. We have been surrounded and upheld by loving thoughts and prayers from our family, friends, co-workers, patients, clients, and even some whose lives touched ours only slightly. We received cards, texts and emails from around the world, from our exchange student daughters in Germany and Japan and our granddaughters studying in Canada and Spain. Like endless circles of Hanukkah candles lifting their light in dark December, we have been bathed in the light of love, and it has strengthened our hope as we’ve journeyed through these dark days.
Being the recipient of so much love and tender care has reminded me that we all are containers holding an endless supply of Divine Love. I believe that each of us has “that of God within us” as Quakers have traditionally said. We can send the light of that Love out to surround and uphold each other. I have believed this for a long time, but to experience it, to be on the receiving end of it has deeply touched me.
We humans really are capable of sending out tons of love! We touch others’ lives with small acts and quick notes, with loving prayers and homemade bread. And often we don’t know what a deep blessing we have brought to others at a time when they needed it. If those whose love surrounded Larry and me and our family knew how much their candles of love have lit our way and given us hope, they’d be astonished.
We received love from a client who gave a pot of soup to her daughter (a hospital employee) to give to me, from the nurse who gave me a hug when he saw I needed it, from the text I received that started out “I don’t know if you remember me but. . .” Love rises from the wall of cards in our kitchen and from the friend who offered to help us set up our Christmas tree. So many faces of love, so many ways of sending it to others!
As I feel tears of gratitude gathering again, I invite you to commit anew to the spiritual practice of spreading love wherever it is needed. (which is, of course, everywhere!) May we adopt as our own the daily prayer of Father Tim from Jan Karon’s books: Make me a blessing to someone today. May we carry that prayer through this dark December and into the new year.
If this message has spoken to you, please share it with others.
Dear Nancy,
This post is full of particulars I didn’t know and after reading your story, your invitation in the last paragraph is that much more powerful. I have felt withdrawn from others in these latest cold days and still recovering from hand surgery and I am lifted up and beyond myself in your words. Thank you for bringing us along on your and Larry’s journey and I rejoice with you that you are together in this holy season. Bless you, Nancy.
Dear Ann, I understand how you have felt withdrawn from others and too alone after your surgery. I hope it you’ll feel more surrounded by love as your hand heals. Thank you for writing, my friend. Nancy
Thank you for sharing this Nancy. As an introvert I thought I could make it alone as a hermit. I even put a sign on my door after Sarah’s death “Herb’s Hermit Hut.” However, I learned I very much need others and am so grateful for the support I had through grief.
May you and Larry continue to receive the hands of the Sacred Spirit through others during this time and beyond. May you be given life even if it is different from the life you have lived to this point. Take care. Herb
Dear Herb,
Thank you so much for writing. I know that you have journeyed through pain and loss, and uncertainty, and you understand how your life can turn upside down. I’m glad you took down the “Hermit Hut” sign!
peace, Nancy
Nancy and Larry, I send my love and my strength…and my hope for a complete recovery. I’ve known you for 50 years as a tower of strength and compassion, more than human. Please know that I’m thinking of you!!!
Love,
Jon Walker
Dear Jon, Thank you for writing. I shared your note with Larry—yes, I agree that he’s amazing! with gratitude, Nancy
Hi Nancy,
I’m so sorry to hear about Larry’s illness. It sounds like it could have been much worse. I hope he has a full recovery, and will keep you both in my prayers.
With Love,
Sam K. Meyer
Dear cousin Sam,
I’m sorry I missed seeing your note at first. I really appreciate your note — and your holding us in your prayers. Larry is continuing to heal, and to make steady progress. love, Nancy
Dear Nancy,
What a frightening time these past weeks have been for you and your husband. Your post tells firsthand of how we desperately need one another and how love can always outshine the darkness. Please know I am holding you and Larry in the light and wishing you all the best.
With love,
Laurie
Dear Laurie,
Thank you so much for writing. (For some reason I didn’t receive your note when you sent it.) I love the was you said “love can always outshine the darkness”. That’s so true! I really appreciate your holding us in the light.
Nancy
Dr. Bieber was my PCP for decades — I just saw him about a month ago for a pre-op check-up. He is truly unique — not just a terrific doctor, but a real human being, a mind, heart and soul, bringing his curiosity, his warmth, his deep knowledge and wisdom, his zest for life (his own and others’) to every encounter I had with him, no matter how prosaic. I feel so blessed to have been his patient. When I heard he was retiring, I felt happy for him and forlorn for myself. There can’t be two like him. Nancy, your story, your love, your light uplift and encourage me. Onward, Dr. Bieber! Be with us, stay with us. You are a light in this dark world and we never needed that more. With deep gratitude, Lynn
Dear Lynn,
I shared your note with Larry and he was most grateful! Thank you for your deep appreciation of his care as a PCP—and also your appreciation of who he is as a human being. I thoroughly agree with all you’ve said. May we all continue to share the light with each other. Nancy
Dear Nancy, I was blessed by your writing. Carol Spicher shared the writing with Rose King Saylor who shared it with me. My prayers for Larry’s continued recovery and strength for you Nancy . The hand of God was truly at work giving doctors their ability to perform a miracle! If Larry is up to a short visit I would love to drop by to see him for a few minutes. If he would rather not that is ok. I just bet he is itching to go back to work! My prayers for you and Larry and God’s blessing be with you. Love. Lois Summers
Dear Lois,
Thank you so much for writing. It has been a tumultuous time, and your prayers are most welcome!
I expect Larry would enjoy a visit. Nancy